Rocking your baby to sleep, feeding them to sleep, holding them until they drift off, or using a dummy—these are all common ways parents help their little ones settle at night. But here’s the thing: there’s no “right” or “wrong” way for your child to sleep. What matters most is that it works for your family. If you love rocking your baby to sleep or using a dummy, then keep doing what feels good. However, if you’re ready to make a change and want your child to learn to fall asleep more independently, I’m here to help.
In this blog, we’ll explore:
What sleep associations are.
Why they’re not inherently bad.
Gentle techniques to help your child learn to self-settle if that’s the path you’d like to take.
What Are Sleep Associations? 🌙Sleep associations are the cues or habits your child relies on to fall asleep, such as being rocked, fed, held, or using a dummy. Over time, these actions become part of their routine, and your child learns to associate them with sleep. These associations are perfectly normal and serve as comforting cues to help them relax before bed.
Why Sleep Associations Aren’t “Bad” 🌟It’s important to stress that sleep associations aren’t wrong or harmful in any way. If rocking, feeding, holding your child to sleep, or using a dummy works for your family, there’s no immediate need to change. Sleep is a personal experience, and every family’s needs are different. However, if you’re finding these habits exhausting—like needing to rock your child for hours, frequent night wake-ups for feeding or replacing the dummy—or if you want your child to fall asleep more independently, gentle steps can help create new sleep patterns.
When It’s Time to Make a Change ⏳Perhaps you’re going back to work, have another baby on the way, or you’re simply feeling burnt out from the constant nighttime feeds or dummy use. That’s completely okay! The goal isn’t to remove all comfort but to gently guide your child toward falling asleep more independently.
Gentle Techniques to Help Your Child Self-Settle 💡
1. Gradual Change: If you usually rock, feed, or hold your child until they fall asleep, try gradually reducing the amount of time you spend doing this. For instance, instead of rocking them fully to sleep, try laying them down when they are calm and relaxed, but still awake, so they can learn to settle themselves. You can also introduce a comforter, such as a favourite soft toy or blanket, to provide extra reassurance and support.
2. Adjust Daytime Feeding Routines: If your child relies on feeding to fall asleep, consider making small changes to the routine. For example, instead of feeding your baby to sleep, try offering the feed after their nap during the day. This change in routine can help separate feeding from sleep and encourage your baby to fall asleep without needing to nurse or bottle-feed.
3. Weaning from the Dummy: If your child relies heavily on a dummy, you may wish to begin phasing it out gently, especially if you find yourself needing to replace it frequently throughout the night. You can start by limiting its use to just bedtime and naps, and gradually reduce how often it's offered. To help with the transition, you can introduce a comforter or soft toy that your child can hold during sleep for reassurance. You could also go cold turkey.
4. Stay Close for Reassurance: Sit by your child’s cot or bed as they drift off, offering your presence and voice for comfort, but without as much physical contact. This allows them to feel secure while slowly learning to settle on their own. Over time, gradually increase the distance between you and your child during bedtime as they grow more confident falling asleep independently.
5. Consistency Is Key: Children thrive on routine, so whatever gentle technique you introduce, be consistent with it. This helps your child understand what to expect, which builds their confidence and security during the sleep process.
Whether you love rocking your child to sleep, using a dummy, or are considering a shift to help your child self-settle, what matters most is finding a routine that works for you. If you’re ready to make a change, I can guide you through gentle, responsive methods that help your child develop independent sleep skills—at a pace that feels right for them and your family.